You may get that all too familiar feeling of loneliness when you see your family for the holidays and they all seem to have a significant other except you. You see commercials advertising sparkling diamond engagement rings. It all seems unfair. You’re alone again for another holiday season. Being single during the holidays is one of the hardest times of the year. It may help a little to realize that you are not alone, and almost half of the U.S. adult population is single according to the U.S. Census Bureau. 

Be real and honest with yourself and don’t beat yourself up for feeling lonely. Allow yourself to feel the loneliness that comes with being single, but down drown in those feelings. Don’t stop experiencing new things because you’re single. Sometimes single people can have a tendency to put their lives on hold and not travel or experience new things unless they have someone to travel with. However, if you make yourself happy and pursue the things you enjoy “the one” you are looking for may just be around the corner. Focus on making yourself the best person you can be.

According to Emily Deaton, who wrote “Single and Lonely: How to Avoid the Trap of Single Lonliness” article, she spoke with several single people from completely different backgrounds, “and nearly everyone shared one thing in common: At some point in their lives, they felt a deep sense of loneliness while being single.” 

One single person she interviewed said, “The most frustrating thing [about being single] is the solitude of it all,” Jackie said. She explained: When I’m swiping on dating apps, it’s usually because I’m feeling some sort of heightened sense of loneliness and I’m trying to fill that void. But then I end up swiping on or talking to people who aren’t really great matches for me.

To curb loneliness, we use websites and dating apps to find an easy way to connect with others, only to be left disappointed in the end. Sometimes, we use distractions to avoid thinking about our loneliness. Being single is more difficult when you’re not fulfilled in other areas of your life. Seek out a support system to help. Nurture friendships so you can rely on one another to help you through the hard times. 

Work on yourself so you will be ready when the right person eventually does show up. Build up your self-worth, replace the negative self-talk, and don’t settle or lower your standards because it will always lead to disappointment and heartache in the end. 

Volunteering is one way to get your focus off of your lonely feelings and onto focusing on others in need. Volunteer at your local food pantry or non-profit that provides gifts for children around the holiday. Partner with a local church or organization that needs help purchasing gifts for families in need. Focusing on helping others will boost your mood. Visit your grandparents or a nursing home. Elderly people can be really lonely around the holidays too. Cheer them up by visiting, bringing them a gift, or just the gift of you being there will mean so much to them. 

Join one of the Smitten Singles group events this month like the Singles Holiday Shindig on Dec 16 in Des Moines or the Singles Wrap Party in Omaha

Come and wrap gifts and meet some new friends, enjoy pizza, and take home some holiday treats. If you don’t have a gift to wrap, Smitten is conducting a benefit toy drive to benefit the Siena Francis House. 

Having a romantic relationship with someone else is an important part of life for many people, and it can make life a little more difficult when you’re waiting. Allow yourself to feel the loneliness that comes with being single, but don’t let yourself be controlled by it. Focus on what you can do to help others while trying to be patient until the right one comes along.

Check the events page in your city for other events this month

Emily Deaton article

Census Source